Curiously I ponder the words DADT, meaning Don't ask Don't tell. I joined the military in 1991, we all thought that it was a ridiculous policy. Why would they make such a policy? The reality is, your personal life is OFF LIMITS. I knew many friends that loved to use this policy, the lazier ones is what I called them, nope they weren't even gay, they just wanted to get out of the military. My eminent feelings were "if they want out that bad, let them, they aren't going to do me any good being here". It's about unity, conformity, comradery and loyalty. Those who don't have it, shouldn't wear it, not on their sleeve, not on their chest. Anywhere.
Bootcamp, memories of being yelled at, breaking me down and feeling like nothing in the world could be worse than this, nothing. The slower ones at the back of the march while carrying our rucks were the "weaker ones" they got yelled at more, beaten down more, but they came into their own, the trick was to not speak, do what they tell you to do so you can get the hell out of there. (I was the weaker one) I believe they called me "buckethead". Do I go around and divulge that to many, absolutely not. Using the term "hell" signifies what it is, if you can do this, if you can take the afflictions for eight weeks, you can take the pain to submit your life for your country. You aren't pretty soldier, so don't try to be! At the end of those lovely day's all you think about is your family, that final moment and being able to hold your head up high. What a feeling, what a tremendous gratification, there is absolutely nothing that can compare to that moment. To be able to say "I conquered Hell, and I survived".
Those people that I lived with for eight weeks were my best friends, my mates, my strength. When we talked about our personal lives, it was in "secret" because if a Drill Sergeant overheard us, we were ousted, humiliated and punished to the extreme physically, mentally and so forth. It's all about the word "time", no time in the day for anything and lastly sleep, who sleeps in basic training? 4 o'clock am come's mighty damn early soldiers and the sounds of aluminum trash cans while hearing the sound of AC/DC's begininning of Hell's Bell's comes too early. At night before I fall asleep I have to make sure I'm already wearing my Physical Training uniform, neatly placing my tennis shoes directly underneath, making sure all my brass is polished and both sets of boots. My socks are folded the correct way, oh please let me have put them all in there neatly. I don't want my bed to get flipped in the morning and my shoes to be thrown across the room, imagine trying to find my boot among 100 other black boots!
D A D T (don't ask don't tell) seriously? I have so much stress here, and some girl wants to do what in the showers? I remember that night so vividly. There was a girl, about 28-30, I was 17, I didn't pay much attention to her, I don't know what happened, I don't know the entirety of it all. But I knew she slowed us down. I knew it was coming, no one liked her, no one. It was dark, but I could see the fade of the light gently hovering across the tops of our ceiling. Just then another girl in my platoon is beside me, in my ear "don't make a sound get your boots-grab your blanket". What! I'm tired, I don't sleep, but, when they say "go" we go as a team, we go as one in the night. We have comradery, we don't distrust our own. This is what we do, to those who do not fit in, slow us down or turn on us.
It's not just for those who are gay, it's to weed out the ones who will not ever be fit to wear that patch. It's for those we know who won't ever make it. I say this as though it's a current statement, because I for one know that it still takes place. Somewhere over the rainbow to those civilians that are frightened and want to file actions against me right away. You would have to file actions against every single soldier in the United States Military. To not have been involved, witnessed or seen this is unheard of. We don't talk about it, it's not dinner party conversation, the fact is, we carry our own, it's not your business to know. The next day, none of us ever spoke of this again, and one was weeded out and gone.
Loyalty, Duty, Country, Commitment these are just a few of the things that I can control in my world. I raised my right hand to be a soldier for the United States Military. You can't take that from me, you can't see what I've seen, and you can't say you have been there when you weren't. I can tell you the story, but unless you are military you will never understand.
The Logistics of the Military are out of Control. Since when do we tell Civilians our business? Since when do we unite them on our forefronts. We are here to win wars, not make friends. We are here to kill the enemy, not hand out stress cards. What in the HELL has happened to our military?
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